SWEDISH LOUSE MAFIA
Big companies can sometimes become dangerously dumb, we all know that.But sometimes there is the usual cash maximisation, quality reduction reality behind a move that looks retarded. The best way to cover up the infected reality is with a fig leaf of green wash and cynical eco sustainable sewage. PIKEA's just decided to vandalise the planet of the cool by canning the EXPEDIT shelving system that has been a design icon and great way to store and celebrate vinyl and other art for years. Thinking and knowing we have no choice, they just decided to cut some corners, literally, and replace it. The Germans found out first and were outraged. This is an iconic product that has saved and enriched many lives and marriages.IKEA acted fast to kill the negative buzz with a blanket of green guff.Playing the green card is a great way to shut down debate or make your opponent look evil. It is a bit like saying something kills children and puppies. Backward and oppressive laws are made on these kinds of foundations.And the best spin doctors are quick off the mark to tell you just why the latest cut in the amount of drink in a can, size of a sweet, or quality of packaging isn't being mean - its doing our bit for Mother Earth. Had the Dark Arts been as sophisticated as they are today, when many vinyl pressings got thinner and floppier than overcooked linguine run over by a drunk driver, they would have claimed it was to save children's lives. Shit thin pressings had nothing to do with the risen cost of oil and the greedy, obvious revelation that at the time you could either have the record or not with less choice than prison rape, so why make it nice when profits could be higher?IKEA has an interesting, dark and yet empowering role in all our lives. It makes cheap stuff that sort of works, and ok meatballs. If you want to kit out a kitchen they will make it passable at a fraction of the cost of not much better alternatives. This is not a bad thing, letting people have stuff they could not have afforded. Stuff that is sort of ok. And even cult. A lot of people have gone to some effort to make IKEA sourced gear look more unique. Show how to pronounce it in the native Swedish. And even the flat pack giant's major contribution to the culture of one handed viewing.It was Philippe that turned us on to the genius of EXPEDIT. Horrified by my crates, floors, bookshelves and cupboards full of precious black gold he sent me a reasonably good video showing the magic of these simple, cheap and elegant shelves. Some time later My Lady arranged for the installation of a full set, and life has never been the same.Luckily, there are no room for any more units as I can't have any. IKEA decided to moderately cut the amount of cheap chipboard wood involved and make them look a bit shit by adding a curve. This showed tremendous disrespect to tonnes of very influential customers, and the terrible arrogance of a near monopoly. Want sort of cheap shelves? Go steal some. You've no choice. We're big enough we don't need you. And hey we're eco. Sure we print a lot of catalogues, commercial forestry is totally carbon neutral and even if IKEA and in fact all shelves in the world disappeared and new ones were banned it would have less effect on the planet's future than if just one small clan of primitive slash and burn "farmers" (the biggest cause of carbon emissions by far by the way, but we'd rather feel guilty for flying off on holiday) drank themselves to death.Oh and don't complain too loudly. The mainstream, PR controlled media have come out quick to fog up the ugly reality with tree saving slop.You're just a probably old man that hasn't got with the programme and wants to kill kids. And puppies.