Getting Shirty with the Worthy
Designer luggage and well coiffured accessory kids. Vegan mock tacos that cost more than a monthly wage in most of the world. Blockbuster popsters and BBC Presenters. Worthy politics and Worthy Farm...Yes comrades what could it be but Glastonbury.You know how I feel. I was there when it was pretty free and inspiring, then had one scatmud bath trenchfoot weekend too many and realised I'd been conned.I've just come back from NYC. And while it still has an energy and diversity that makes London feel a crowded, divided armpit pumping money into the rest of an ungrateful island, the effects of "Disneyfication" were there. I stayed near Times Square, and it was a sad thing. Like running into a wild, caner Uncle years after they had become a Mormon.Sure, Times Square was terrifying by the late 80s - what had been a place of smut, horror cinemas, video arcades and edgy scuzz had descended into a crack AIDS crapshoot of horror. So the wrecking balls came and soul erasing franchise musicals moved in permanently. Honest dive strip joints were replaced by Hooters.But what does this bitter nostalgia have to do with Glasto? Times Square was a place of experimentation and "what goes on there stays there" naughtiness. You could escape your desk chains, dead imposed family relationships and all imposed hypocritical morality. Then watch zombie movies on ludes with drunks, hookers and geography teachers. The rubbish old weed slang term "Cheeba" came from the Times Square scene - as particularly well supplied psychedelic grocers would appear in the cinema during Sonny Chiba flicks like The Streetfighter. And of course you could sample the product right there. It's the first place you would have heard hiphop, Morricone, Goblin or anything Latin. So a little bit like the pre-Glamper, pre-Mail on Sunday Fashion Feature festival scene. Now it's all safe, dead and family friendly. A dishonest carnival for the repressed bourgeoise where they can play at freedom while never really being surprised. I'm praying for rain. And yet people I love enough to take a bullet for are there.I bet your Facebook will be filled this weekend, and indeed any weekend with a mainstream festival with pictures and updates live from the crime scene. This is part of a phenomenon called "Smoasting" in the trade - Social Media Boasting. Facebook as a brand platform to show the world our own style and brilliance, and to be just a bit smug when we're having fun. If you feel a sting of envy at all the Raybans, Wellies and Once in a Lifetime Alleged Performances, here are three things to remember to make you feel better.1. They spent more on this than a week's holiday in the sun. Add the petrol, the tent, the food and you'd be lucky to have any change from £700 for two attending the Worthy Wanktardary. Imagine at least a week in a beautiful place, with music of your own and maybe even played live by locals. They kicked that to the kerb to sort of see Mumford and Sons in the Mud. WTF?2. The bogs will be appalling. Better than they were, but still a biohazardous self degradation. Back in my day you could slink off and lay cable behind a bush. Try that now and you'd be gunned down by a Predator Drone. Then stared angrily by yummy mummies.3. The UK is not famous for great weather. Sure, you might get a peek of sun but add even drizzle to the overcrowded, sanitised mix and surely the fun factor hits the floor faster than a seagull shot with a twelve ball.In the end, music is in your heart and it's not where you hear it, or what novelty veggie sushi and heavily branded sustainable cider you are snarfing, its whether it moves your soul. And you'll be moved like a mountain of funky dirt facing a nuclear powered bulldozer by our EPIC new in:We've got it all. Original and repress Classic Rock LPs; Beatles, Stones, Zep, Floyd, Who... here's a small list of high end titles spotted : Byrds "fifth dimension", Cream " disraeli gears", Beatles "rubber soul, With the beatles, White..", Love "Love", Spooky Tooth "the last puff", Scott Walker "scott one"Small faces "from the beginning", John Martyn "the tumbler", Soft Machine "triple echo", John Mayall "a hard road", Beach Boys "pet sounds", Hendrix "are you experienced", Stones "sticky fingers" (zio sleeve) and so much much more!!Funk and Soul albums; Bootsy, Cameo, BlackByrds, Barretto, George Duke, Curtis,Brass Construction, Flora Purim, Betty Wright, Al green,Jazz and blues LPs; Art Blakey, Cliff Brown, various ECM, Sonny Rollins, Alphonse Mouzon, Sonny Boy Williamson, Miles, Count Ossie... it's a blinder!!So put away the brolly and come on down to dig on the Rat sound this Saturday.